Buried a good man today.

He was only twenty years old.

The guy I remembered was on the shy side, and always called me "mamm".

God I hated that.

On time at fire school, he looked wiped. I asked if he was alright. He windily nodded, yes. Even though I was tired and wanted to give up, I wasn't going to have this youngin get the best of me.
His smile, along with all the other youngin fueled me during fire school to give 110%. I have never told them, but I think of them as my own kids. Yes, I do mother them from afar, and would protect them as my own.

When I showed up at the fire house I got my normal ribbing for not being around much. Then I walked towards the hall. I saw my youngins.

Alexis was drawn. Her eyes red with tears. I wanted so badly to take it all away, and bring back that smile she is NEVER without. She didn't look like herself. She was pale and sickly looking. No makeup. Her glow was gone. I immediately hugged her, but it brought her no comfort. Her friend was gone, and she needed to mourn.

Next I saw Dom, his eyes glazed over too. He told me Pat and him were first due.

They were the ones who found them. Although I grew up in a slum of New Castle county, I never had to deal with pain like my youngin were going through.

My childhood never produced such great friendships. I was always at arms lengths from my friends. They recently lost another one of their friends in another auto accident. She was 16.

As I watched everyone say their goodbyes, I couldn't help but look at these young men and women as I first net them. Everything from awkward Tweens to eights year getting their front teeth in.

Middletown is not the same town I moved to in 1997. Even though their was an influx of people over the last few years these youngin hunkered down and weathered the storm. They grew up together. They go to different schools, but their brotherly and sisterly have never broken.

Pat was first to stand up and say nothing but kind things about his fallen friend. I was not really listening to the words, but I was looking at his body language. He was standing tall. He was and example to us all.

In the face of extreme sorrow, Pat looked wise beyond his year. He was no longer just a youngin. They was nothing he did or said to make us do a face palm. I grew in leaps and bounds right in front of my very eyes.

Just then I knew my youngin were going to be alright. They would be their own support. They would get through it as a "family".

We have lost many in the fire service to things that could have been prevented. If is filled with "what if's"

One question I would like to be answered is what if we all wore our seatbelt? How many fire fighters and EMT would it save?

As of today, I will be one that no matter how far the trip I will be buckling up.

I am an opponent for not wearing a seatbelt, and my driving record is filled with $68.50 fines for not wearing it.

Actually, to come to think about it it was my youngins that ribbed me on facebook about my last fine. Kenny was one of them. But I promised his mother, a woman five years my senior, I would start wearing it.

Who know maybe I'll break our my old accident pictures and start talking to teens again about driving and driving and automobile safety.

One throughout this whole ordeal I'll carry with me is two phases Kenny held dear:

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

There is no greater love; then a man who lays down his life for his fellow man.