It's good to be back

I came late to the call for a reason.

I had so many health issues.

I missed so many classes. I actually thought I was going to be chased out of the station.

It had been about a year and four months since I came in for a fire call. I popped in and out for ambulance calls from time to time, but nothing steady.

Not like I was.

I was what most would call a wacker. I live and breathed volunteer firefighting. If I was out of district and missed a call, I was hard on myself that I let my company down.

Then I got the news.

I was going to a new recruit in the EMT BASIC course. Not a hard course to get into, but if you wanted to have your company to pay for it you need to put in a lot of time.

Then I got another bit of good luck three weeks into my EMT course.

I was pregnant.

What a way to put a wedge in my volunteerism. I was actually 8 weeks pregnant. I was fighting fire pregnant. I couldn't hide it from my line officers, and why should I.

Well.

I was immediately removed off of all fire apparatus. I was not allowed to even ride the air trailer.

I was allowed a couple more weeks on the ambulance. Then I started having all my health issues.

This wasn't just a tore knee. No, this was bloody stools, extremely high sugars, internal infections. I was hospitalized for four months intermittently throughout my pregnancy. I was to visit the hospital three times a week for monitor the baby's vitals and go every other week for ultrasounds.

The baby was born by c section a week early. This whole time my poor husband was worrying about us, while his father was terminal with cancer.

We got out of the hospital just in time to she his dad. His dad passed away two days later. Now we had the new little one and planning a funeral.

Right after the visit ended, I had severe chest pain. We rushed back to the hospital. I got a report I had a 24mm mass in my chest.

With all the other stressors, I didn't follow up, we almost lost the house, and my life spiraled down. The report was lost.

I kept pushing on. Finally, I revisited my health. Now, I'm sitting here with a piece of paper and no clue where I should start.

There is definitely something not right with me. Now it's time to focus on me and my health. I just hope everything will fall into place.

I'm unemployed. My youngest is getting more independent by the day. We are in trouble with the mortgage again. I just hope I can figure it out before; I have to make the painful decision again to break my family up so we can survive.