Anyone that knows me, knows I love what I do.
Lately, I've been doubting my decision on moving into emergency medicine. The reason I started doubting myself was; I wasn't cleared at my home station for three years.
There have been many people passing me, which didn't even participate in the field training program. I do not believe they should have been cleared. Actually, I see a lawsuit in the future; if they're not properly trained.
I love what I do, and I hate to see anyone fail. I have taken an oath "to do no harm." I cannot stand by, and watch them harm patients.
Last Monday, I was in tears. I wanted to quit everything. I was ready to quit the firehouse. I was ready to run away from it all.
I couldn't stand anymore pressure put upon me. I was ready to quit school for Allied Health/paramedic. I was ready to throw in the towel on everything; I works so hard on completing. I felt like I should go for another 9-to-5 job.
But my husband is the best thing. He let me stew on my words. He let me get angry at myself, while supporting me the entire way.
Finally two days later, I looked at him and, I said "NO ONE can discount my feelings."
This is something I love, something that I've always loved, something I will always work hard for no matter what the struggle.
I told him I was not be run off. This is my neighborhood. This is where I live. This is the community I want to serve.
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NFFF- Fallen Firefighter Widget 2
Disclaimer (this even was used with permission)
As with many other EMS Blogs, I feel I should throw in a little Disclaimer. My Blogs have been anonymized to protect my Identity along with my organization’s. All the blogs have been Generalized as to avoid any conflicts with HIPPA. Since HIPAA is extremely specific about what is covered under the privacy rules, we will never divulge a client’s name, actual age, date of birth, address or social security number, nor will we post photos or likenesses of said clients. The story’s are gathered from not only my own experiences as an EMT in an urban, suburban and rural setting, but also from my co-workers, colleagues and teachers that have been in my life.
In addition, my thoughts and opinions change from time to time. I consider this a necessary consequence to having an open mind. This blog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in time snapshot and manifestation of the various ideas running around my brain, and as such any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of date post may not be the same, nor even similar, to those I may hold today.
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2 comments:
And this could be an opportunity for you to push for change.
Yup. Very much so. I hope to gain the confidence of the guys. I do not want to make HUGE changes all at once, but small changes over time. I find the fire community is very resistant to change.
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