Forty things you may not know about me.

1. I fear snot.
2. I'm still in love with an ex.
3. I text in the movie theater.
4. I hate assholes.
5. I'm an abuse survivor.
6. I been raped.
7. I wear baggy clothes to hide my body.
8. I loath myself.
9. I am driven to help others
10. I'm a cutter.
11. I attempted suicide nine times.
12. I have no fear of dying.
13. I don't wear my seat-belt.
14. I don't believe in religion.
15. I wake up every day just for my kids.
16. I have wish for my suffering to end.
17. I'm in level 8 pain 24/7/365.
18. I have a low BS tolerance.
19. I don't show my true emotions.
20. I see myself as a failure.
21. I will try anything.
22. I may lose my house.
23. I may have to sell my most prized possession. It's the last thing I have from my late husband.
24. I feel invisible.
25. I'm not a good friend.
26. I'm paranoid.
27. I have flown a plane.
28. I lost my job, my unborn child, and myself when I was strip/cavity searched after the murder of my first husband.
29. Yes, I did tell them about the sexual abuse.
30. I smile, so I don't cry.
31. I keep everything inside.
32. I had rages so bad I black out.
33. I'm numb most of the time.
34 I often wonder: is it worth the fight?
35. I wish I would have went to my first choice college.
36. I'm drowning in debt.
37. People are surprised I still "have lasted this long."
38. I have chronic injuries and conditions.
39. I like to spite people.
40. I hold grudges.