There are two reasons why I have not been blogging in a while. The first reason is I have been on a massive job search. The one income my husband has is not enough to keep us afloat anymore.
The second is I broke yet another phone. I normally write when I'm on duty during down time.
School and the Baby have always been a distraction too.
But lately, I have been very, very depressed.
I was removed off of all my medications by my pain management doctor. I am in constant pain. I have juggled with the idea of taking the doctors advice and collecting SSDI. I know, I would not survive long, if I were to choose this option.
Yes.
I have.
But we won't go there.
I have spent the majority of this last two months in bed. My good friend lost her child. I was told I should avoid having anymore children, and to top it all off they think that they found yet another tumor or growth.
I am scared.
I have never been this scared before.
I have that impending sense of doom. I don't think this time I'm going to get good news.
The pain in my chest is left of the sternum. My right shoulder is completely numb. I was playing with my son the other day and a spasm took me to the ground. I have been lightheaded and dizzy after each attack.
I know a lot of it is stress. I will taking on a lot more in the next couple of months.
I will tried to keep everyone updated. Until then....Stay strong and be safe.
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NFFF- Fallen Firefighter Widget 2
Disclaimer (this even was used with permission)
As with many other EMS Blogs, I feel I should throw in a little Disclaimer. My Blogs have been anonymized to protect my Identity along with my organization’s. All the blogs have been Generalized as to avoid any conflicts with HIPPA. Since HIPAA is extremely specific about what is covered under the privacy rules, we will never divulge a client’s name, actual age, date of birth, address or social security number, nor will we post photos or likenesses of said clients. The story’s are gathered from not only my own experiences as an EMT in an urban, suburban and rural setting, but also from my co-workers, colleagues and teachers that have been in my life.
In addition, my thoughts and opinions change from time to time. I consider this a necessary consequence to having an open mind. This blog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in time snapshot and manifestation of the various ideas running around my brain, and as such any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of date post may not be the same, nor even similar, to those I may hold today.
This blog does not represent the thoughts, intentions, plans or strategies of my employer. It is solely my opinion.
Feel free to challenge me, disagree with me, or tell me I’m completely nuts in the comments section of each blog entry, but I reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason whatsoever (abusive, profane, rude, or anonymous comments) – so keep it polite, please. Comments on this website are the sole responsibility of their writers and the writer will take full responsibility, liability, and blame for any libel or litigation that results from something written in or as a direct result of something written in a comment. The accuracy, completeness, veracity, honesty, exactitude, factuality and politeness of comments are not guaranteed
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