Monday, September 5, 2011
I say hey, what's going on?
There are two reasons why I have not been blogging in a while. The first reason is I have been on a massive job search. The one income my husband has is not enough to keep us afloat anymore.
The second is I broke yet another phone. I normally write when I'm on duty during down time.
School and the Baby have always been a distraction too.
But lately, I have been very, very depressed.
I was removed off of all my medications by my pain management doctor. I am in constant pain. I have juggled with the idea of taking the doctors advice and collecting SSDI. I know, I would not survive long, if I were to choose this option.
Yes.
I have.
But we won't go there.
I have spent the majority of this last two months in bed. My good friend lost her child. I was told I should avoid having anymore children, and to top it all off they think that they found yet another tumor or growth.
I am scared.
I have never been this scared before.
I have that impending sense of doom. I don't think this time I'm going to get good news.
The pain in my chest is left of the sternum. My right shoulder is completely numb. I was playing with my son the other day and a spasm took me to the ground. I have been lightheaded and dizzy after each attack.
I know a lot of it is stress. I will taking on a lot more in the next couple of months.
I will tried to keep everyone updated. Until then....Stay strong and be safe.
The second is I broke yet another phone. I normally write when I'm on duty during down time.
School and the Baby have always been a distraction too.
But lately, I have been very, very depressed.
I was removed off of all my medications by my pain management doctor. I am in constant pain. I have juggled with the idea of taking the doctors advice and collecting SSDI. I know, I would not survive long, if I were to choose this option.
Yes.
I have.
But we won't go there.
I have spent the majority of this last two months in bed. My good friend lost her child. I was told I should avoid having anymore children, and to top it all off they think that they found yet another tumor or growth.
I am scared.
I have never been this scared before.
I have that impending sense of doom. I don't think this time I'm going to get good news.
The pain in my chest is left of the sternum. My right shoulder is completely numb. I was playing with my son the other day and a spasm took me to the ground. I have been lightheaded and dizzy after each attack.
I know a lot of it is stress. I will taking on a lot more in the next couple of months.
I will tried to keep everyone updated. Until then....Stay strong and be safe.
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